Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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