so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
