We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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