Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
