you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dick very happy bro
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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