what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
