His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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