My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
