all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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