i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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