I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
4 words: hood of his car
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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