everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
