I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just googled if crying burns calories
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
