doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
