We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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