oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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