saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
