I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
