Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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