is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
