some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
