Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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