My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
