my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Randomize
