No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
