What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
