your parents love me but you hate me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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