omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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