Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
