You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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