Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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