i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize