Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize