Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked