considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.