Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.