just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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