In the future we'll all be gay
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love having hate sex.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
