His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
