My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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