I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize