i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
