My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize