What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
