Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
