I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
