then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
