I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
