There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
