You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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