Pappa wants mamma naked
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
