just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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