Im at strip club and am horny
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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