the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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