Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize