What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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