You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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