I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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