too bad you live with your parents still
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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