it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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